I love my daughter Savannah who is 3 years and 22 months old this week more than life itself. I would do anything for her. But some days I don't know how this little bundle of energy can go from sweet and loving to REGAN from the Exorcist or a HELLCAT! Yesterday I bagged up a large plastic bag and a giant tote full of toys and dress up play clothes. I was tired of picking them up over and over. Savannah is learning to help, but not totally there yet at her age. I was determined that the next few days were going to be better than me constantly cleaning. Last night Eric and I started watching the movie "Grown Ups". As I said last night this is the first movie or TV show we have sat down to watch in FOREVER together. I don't know what we do wrong, but it has got to be something! The movie had 20 minutes left and she woke up crying. We tried to let her go back to sleep, but she kept getting louder. Eric went to check on her and thought he had her asleep again. NOPE, It didn't last long. Then I went in, she started screaming that I was a meanie, only wanted her Daddy. That either makes me so mad or breaks my heart and I want to cry. I was asking her what was wrong and she just yelled over and over. She had wet thru her diaper and was soaking. Eric came and took her, I went to another bed and I think I cried for an hour or so. She cried most of the night. Her knee hurt, it was the wrong jammies, the wrong pillow, the pillow was upside down.
This morning was a new day. School was cancelled for a snow day. I had plans to do my best to be sweet and loving all day. When it becomes night time she doesn't want much to do with me if I have told her no to anything! Some days it just doesn't matter. Us Moms who are with our kids all day, just can't ever get a break or do anything right. For years I took Stay At Home Moms for granted. Those that have time to watch TV, keep a spotless house, home school and keep sane by the end of the day are doing something that I want to know about! Daddies can come in and just make it all perfect at the end of the day. By the end of the day Mommies are usually drained. But today I was going to make a conscious effort to be the happiest, sweetest, Mom possible. I snuggled on the couch and watched Dinosaur Train, Word Girl, made cinnamon toast and bacon for breakfast, snuggled more, helped her create art from her artist bag, played games, giggled,collected snow to make snow cream, played in the snow, sled down the hill, jumped on a trampoline with ice all over it, took a hike thru the ice and snow, went to McDonald's, watched a movie, let her play in her playroom, play in the sink with water (well - I just caught her doing this one!) . It didn't matter, at the end of the day, I was still not the best. I think if we don't get her to bed by 7 pm that things just go downhill some nights. Here are just a few thoughts, comments things that occurred from 5 pm till things just got quiet at 9:15 tonight!
Mommie that's not enough water in the bathtub, I want it all the way up to my boobies!
Mommie, please find my sparkly rubber duckie my Daddy bought me, No go look again, No keep looking, Keep looking Mommie you have to practice.
NO, I am not ready to get out of the bath tub.
Mommie let me sit in front of the fire to dry.
Mommie I don't want to wear footie jammies.
No, I want to put them on all by myself.
I need a poopie diaper.
Yes Mommie, I would love chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.
No Mommie, I am not going to eat it, never ever. It's yucky.
Mommie, Don't tell me no, I just want to eat from the sugar bowl.
Mommie, my poopie is not coming out, I need poopie medicine.
7:15 pm, Eric arrives "Tina would you like a glass of wine"?
No, I only want to eat salt. (Savannah says)
Pulls Sophie's tail 3 times, gets in trouble.
(Kicking, screaming and refusing us to change her poopie diaper and kicks herself in the mouth)
I will not brush my teeth. You will not brush my teeth, never ever. No I don't want to go to the Dr. Dentist, No I don't want a shot.
Screaming
Oscar is just a stupid cat.
No, don't take my big girl toys away, I am not a baby. I want my alligator.
Screaming
I will hide here forever (under the Melissa and Doug Easel, she hides, we lift it, she jumps up, bumps her head and runs and gets under the living room end table) Screams for ever. Eric gets her out.
Screaming
I will not go to sleep, my bedroom is terrible, its awful, my tooth hurts.
I need medicine. I will not take that yucky medicine, that medicine will not work it hurts on the outside.
Ahhh - Its all quiet and its 9:30. Eric says we should finish watching our movie. I tell him we can't. I finished watching the last 20 minutes. It was a Direct TV Pay Per View. We rented it last night, watched all but 20 minutes last night and it expired today. This I will never understand. I guess we need to figure out Netflix for those times twice per year we actually get to sit and watch a movie.
We still need to clean the kitchen, I need a shower and to find a nice quiet place to lay my head. Some days you just don't get a break! Tonight I ask myself, "Tina would you like a 2nd glass of wine? It took you 2 hours to drink the first one. I think my answer is YES"!
I still love Savannah more than life itself no matter how bad the day ends. I am thankful and blessed that Eric can walk in after a 12 hour day at work, be happy and smiling, deal with the meltdowns and then just let it all go and laugh. I look forward to Savannah playing with friends tomorrow and me chattng with my Mommie friends. I just know that every day is not sunshine for every Mommie, no matter what they say or BLOG about.
This is life, this is real, the good and the bad - and we are still Blessed in this very LONG day! A bad day with meltdowns is still a much better day than one without a child to love!
Can I get an AMEN?
No comments:
Post a Comment