18/365...2011 Are You Serious?

Everyone knows by now I am so ready for this month to be over with!  I am so DONE with it!

All I have ever wanted to be was a good person, a wife and a Mother.  It took me FOREVER for this to happen.  Age 37 and then age 42.  One would think I prayed long and hard about both and I would be good at it.  I am not aiming for great - just the best I can be and learning as I go.  This month the days start wonderfully and by evening - all hell seems to break lose if I don't have Savannah to sleep by 7:30 or before her Daddy gets home.  I am the bad Mom, the wicked witch!  My child is sweet and precious - but I think she needs to realize that as a child she can still break your heart. She can also melt your heart with her hugs, kisses and beautiful smile.  These tough times are just a tiny portion of our day.  Maybe she needs someone to have to share her time with.  I don't know if its best to be an only child or not.  I only want what is best for her and for us.  I only know that my friends with more than one child do not deal with these issues.

She cracks me up most of the day!  This morning she told me she did not want to watch "Handy Manny" because he was too fake!  We all know that's true!  Later today she told me I felt soft, was pretty and gave good kisses.

After a wonderful morning taking Savannah to Kid City to play with friends and me to have some Mommy time with my friends, I treated her to lunch at McDonald's.  We came home, ate lunch, played games, watched a movie for quiet time and had a snack of popcorn.  I stood on my feet all afternoon preparing 5 meals for what I thought was a 5 person meal exchange, only to find out at the end of the day that it is just 3 of us.  Fine, whatever, no big deal I tell myself, let it go.  So what if you have 4 Cranberry Chickens in your freezer!  So what if you still need to go to the grocery store and prepare meals for this week.  I tell myself to "chill out"!  Yes I am tired, Yes my feet hurt - but "chill, chill", I say! Do I want to eat the dinner I prepared of Cranberry Chicken, green beens and ginger rice?  The answer is heck no!

I have friends all around me who lately are dealing with issues of other adults trying to take advantage of them, trying to get something for free (freeloading) or just plain old stealing.  It is hard to watch.  Never in return giving back to those who always seem to be helping them. Sometimes people seem to try to take advantage of those of us who are older.  People think money grows on our trees. It does not.  We have worked hard for what we have, have sacrificed and saved.  There are people in this world who have learned how to "work the system".  Many of these people drive fine cars, have the latest electronics and the newest of the latest fad.  I feel that so many people today have no morales and no values. To be quiet honest people do not give me discounts when I order products from them, so why should I be expected to?  I had a Mom friend today telling me about her 8 year old daughter constantly saying "its just not fair"!  I think I can relate to her daughter!

I have wonderful friends who are loving and are there for me.  I have friends all around the country younger and older than I am.  I am not perfect, they are not perfect, but we do seem to be able to exist and go thru the years together.  I have parents who were always there for each other, thru alcoholism, sickness, good times of finance and tough times. Thru thick and thin. My parents were/are good people - I am proud of the things they taught us!  I have an amazing husband who works hard all day to provide a great life for us.  I am truly blessed. 


I am going to blame this all on my parents!  After all that's what our kids will do to us one day, right?  My parents were strict and very loving.  If they told us something, we better well do it or die trying LOL!  My Daddy was a Marine in his younger years, my Momma was from a very large family and she was one of the oldest.  There was not time to play around.  Maybe that's where they learned how to parent.  I took things I learned from them and applied it to working with youth in ministry.  I think I have some pretty fabulous adults who many were wild and crazy Jr high and teens. They range in age from college students today to adults in their late 20's.  They still love me to this day. They are well adjusted adults, hard working and many are parents.  From Alabama, Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky.  I loved them, was honest with them and told then like it was.  No room for farting around as Daddy would say!  I was not there just to lead and please them.  I was there to teach them the Truths of the Bible, to be loving and accepting.  I was not there to judge them.

So maybe its all my problem.  I have lost some patience and tolerance.  I need to be more forgiving.  Maybe I just need to live in my own little bubble for a while till I figure this whole thing out.  I will try hard to focus on the Serenity Prayer and to live it!  13 more days in this MONTH!